Lost all my progress after a full binge week

I've been doing calorie restricting and intermittent fasting for the past 6 weeks and was in a 5k calorie deficit. In the last week, I binged every single day and completely cancelled out my entire deficit. I wanted to start afresh this week but binged again. It was terrible, I had a whole tub of churros, a huge bowl of soup, 4 donuts, a large bubble tea, thickly buttered toast, an entire bottle of probiotic drink and nearly the whole carton of oat milk. At least 3000+ calories. I suddenly can't stop my body. I keep eating and eating everything. It's like my brain isn't controlling my body anymore. I just go into panic mode when I try anything and eat everything. The food noise is so loud, I constantly want to eat. Everytime I make some progress I will self sabotage and undo all my hard work. It's really making me so demotivated to continue. I don't want to be fat forever but sometimes I feel my body can't let me be a healthy weight, it just constantly sabotages me. Of course it is definitely my fault for not being more disciplined, but I just go blank and suddenly I've eaten 4000 calories.