I’ve slowly started to cut myself off from the world. I don’t want to feel like this…

Yet I can’t help myself. I don’t want to talk to anyone anymore. I don’t want to reach out. I don’t want to seek help.

What could they tell me that I don’t already know? What could they tell me that I haven’t already heard a million times over? I’ve read all the books, did therapy for years and years, tried all their suggestions. None of it works. Not for long anyway. What little success I had was futile and fleeting.

I hate to say it, but it’s true. I’ve lost my spark. I’ve lost hope.

I have no more goals. No ambitions. No dreams. Nothing to look forward too. Nothing matters anymore.

I used to be a dreamer. So full of color and life. Optimistic. Positive. Social. I used to smile and laugh.

Now I can’t get off the couch. Can’t be bothered to answer any call or texts. I just don’t wanna be anymore.

Somebody help me. What is this?