Im so angry that I need this surgery

I’m just so upset today and having a pity party for myself. I’m in an unhappy long term relationship and I want to leave so badly but if I leave I won’t have anyone to help me with recovery. It will probably be at least another year or two before I even get the surgery because I haven’t even started braces yet. The thought of having to wait to breakup because of this is depressing, on top of the stress and anxiety I’m already having about the actual surgery. Definitely in the “anger” stage of grief right now.

Edit: I didn’t expect this post to get so much attention. For those who have asked, he hasn’t been physically abusive in a few years so I wouldn’t necessarily feel unsafe with him being there during recovery. The surgery is not the only reason I haven’t left yet. 15 years is a long time and we have kids together, it’s hard to just up and leave. Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship knows that it’s not always 100% bad all the time and that can make it even harder to make the decision to split. Knowing that I have a major surgery with an extensive recovery period in my future, makes breaking up feel even more overwhelming. I was feeling down yesterday about the whole ordeal and needed somewhere to vent, as I went NC with my family many years ago and my best friend recently passed away. Thank you to the people who have been kind.