I need some advice

I have recently started dating after being single for way too long. I make my agenda very clear when I start taking to someone 'I want to find someone I am comfortable with physically and to explore with". I don't care if the person is monogamous; I just don't want to know if you're with someone else. I am a fucking weirdo and can't have casual sex. I need some kind of mental connection. I picked a few guys and feel like I am putting more effort than they are trying to get to that point...

Can someone please tell me why this isn't working? I feel it is a win/win situation. And for context, I aim pretty low in the looks department so I don't have to question if it's about me being "too ugly"....