I'm done. I can't do this anymore.

I'm M 22, got into an very reputed college for MBA, got the mail yesterday and I was crying my eyes out - happy tears and all. And then I tell my mother and there's not a shred of happiness on her face. I said fuck it, I knew her reaction would be like that. She was worried about the fees and everything but I was planning on taking an education loan.

She talked supportive until yesterday night and then backed out this morning because of my grandfather. That senile fool has always been in my path creating obstacles, turning my mother against me saying i would run away with the loan money, bastard doesn't even know that the loan money goes straight to the college and not even a single penny comes to me.

And my mom, just know told me that if I get into that college and go to Bangalore, mai unke hadd aur haath me nhi rahuga. She kept speaking as if I'm a dog that needs to he kept on a leash. Said mai bigad jauga! I tried speaking to her in a very calm manner yet she kept saying that she won't agree. So I said fuck it, compromised and chose another college with less than half fees of the previous one.

She didn't agree to that one either. That's when i realised. Iss ghar me mera kuch nhi hone wala hai. She's never going to support me. Never. And I'm done convincing her. I'm done living. I'm done with everything. All my life I've been the quiet kid, tried to do my best, never was stubborn, didn't demand new toys in my childhood, was happy with what I had, tolerated her abuse and put up with her tantrums and when for once, i thought about myself I get this.

I already have a knife in my hand, I've been staring at it for nearly an hour now. I don't know why I'm posting this. I've been silently crying for so long i can't even feel my cheeks. I'm just done. It was good while it lasted. But, i. Am. Done.

Posting an edit: Thank you to every single one of you who commented and dmed me. I'm actually ashamed that I was about to take this step, after posting I had thrown my phone into some corner and didn't sleep for the night. I threw the knife away and cursed myself for even thinking about taking this step.

Thank you everyone! I'm going to take my stand and get into the college I got selected for. I've talked to my aunt and she said she'll help convince my mother, my grandfather's opinion doesn't matter anymore. I've already talked to a bank and they have agreed with the loan, as soon as my mother is on board I can start the process. Once I move the fuck out, except for my aunt I'm going to cut ties with everyone else.

Thank you everyone ❤️🫂. You're all very wholesome.