$5,000 USD but you can never look at this subreddit again

Fairly simple, you get $5,000 (pre-tax and you can't move jurisdictions to avoid paying higher taxes. You are allowed to move after the next tax cycle. But you can choose to not declare this money on your taxes and thus you wouldn't have to pay taxes which would be pretty sick) but you can never look at this subreddit again. You must IMMEDIATELY unfollow this subreddit and even hide posts just to kind of let Reddit know that you're not interested in it.

To close loopholes:

  • You can't look at a similar subreddit. So if this subreddit gets shut down and there is a "hypotheticalsituation2". You also can't start your own new hypotheticalsituation subreddit nor can you get your friend to start one for you. I don't know the limits or uses of AI but you can't get AI to create a new subreddit either. This also applies to a completely unrelated name but similar concept of a subreddit.
  • In the unlikely event that a friend or acquaintance shows you a post from this subreddit you must IMMEDIATELY tell them that you are not allowed to look at it. If they persist in showing you, you must IMMEDIATELY call them a racial slur pertinent to their race. In the likely event that they are the same race as you, you must then disparage their gender. If they are the same as you, you must pretend to have a seizure. I recommend looking up the protocols of that because I think they will try to grab your tongue from you trying to swallow it. If that is something that is unacceptable to you, I recommend hanging out with people of different races than you more often.
  • You also cannot have a friend read you anything from this subreddit nor can you use AI in any way.
  • You cannot consume this subreddit in any form. No printing*, having it read aloud, turned into braille and thus finger read it.
  • You cannot use AI to create hypotheticals only for your consumption. The only hypothetical questions you can be asked are by another person who knows nothing about your "little situation."
  • In the event that a post from this subreddit makes it to the home page, and you are scrolling the home page, you must do one of the following:
    1. Scroll past it fast and not read it.
    2. IMMEDIATELY take some kind of drug that affects your memory of the current situation.
    3. Drink a lot of alcohol to black out (I realize that this might be the same thing as number 2 but I just wanted to kind of give it as a suggestion in case you didn't think about alcohol as a drug)

Since you will no longer have access to this subreddit, I recommend printing out the instructions so you can read them to familiarize yourself with the rules regularly. This little statement here was the reason for the asterisk above.