Passing as cis, being clocked, the anxiety that goes along with it. Coming to terms it's not a reality for everyone to pass as cis

I've been doing a lot of deep inner work lately. I've basically accepted that I might always appear trans. Don't know how far these hormones or surgeries can take me. I think accepting a life where other people see me as trans or know I'm trans is better than a life of constantly fearing I'll be clocked and the paranoia that would come with it. Or desperately trying to appear cis and failing. I know people are like "oh you gotta be on hormones for a while, it takes a while". I've been holding onto that as a cope, but lately I've been letting that go. It's a spectrum and some of us start out in a better place than others. The constant teetering of "oh maybe I do pass? Nope I don't pass" is not something I want for the rest of my life.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I want to hear from those of you who pass as cis. Not just "passing", that term has been twisted a bit lately. How much effort do you put in? Do you have anxiety about being clocked? Do you feel like it takes a lot to get clocked? How long did it take on hormones?

I just need someone to put this final nail in my coffin for cis passing. Right now I have in my head that life as cis passing and stealth must be anxiety provoking or lonely in a way. But I think that's another cope because the reality is it is that easy for some people just to go stealth.