There's only 10 days until Christmas

What should we get him for Christmas? Maybe we can pool our money together and get him a nice pipe of tobacco laced with arsenic so we can get rid of this fucker once and for all.

If you'd rather not pool all our money together, I can probably afford to hire a hitman, if you guys are okay with that. I'll make sure it's an oompa-loompa since he hates them. I'll get him a glitter bomb, too, just minus the glitter.

Oh, by the way, I'm out of wrapping paper, so this year I can't wrap his hitman in Grinch themed paper. If one of you would be nice enough to donate some to the cause, it'd be greatly appreciated.