Feeling alone in a 5-year relationship – unsure of what to do

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. We started dating when I entered college and moved to a new town. We have a 9-year age gap. I was 19 and he was 28 when we started. At the time, we clicked instantly—we were into the same things and even worked in the same area.

However, over the past year, I’ve noticed him drifting away. He doesn’t say “I love you” anymore, and I often feel like I have to remind him that I’m here. I’ve been craving attention and intimacy, but it feels like I’m begging for basic things, like cuddling or quality time together.

Both of us have struggled with depression and were on antidepressants for a couple of years during the pandemic. I understand how those meds can impact libido and intimacy—it took a toll on our sex life. But now, we’ve both been off medication for over a year, and it still feels like he’s lost interest in me completely.

I’ve tried bringing this up with him multiple times, but every time I do, he gets emotional and says it’s too sensitive to discuss. That leaves me feeling stuck because I can’t address what’s wrong in the relationship if he doesn’t want to talk about it.

I’ve asked if it’s something I’m doing, and he swears it’s not. I suspect it’s something personal or a trauma he’s avoiding, but he doesn’t seem willing to open up about it. He tried therapy briefly but quit, saying he doesn’t like talking about his feelings with a stranger. But here’s the thing—I’m not a stranger, and he doesn’t want to talk to me either.

I love him very much, but lately, it feels like I’m living with a stranger. We’re together all the time, yet I feel so alone. I don’t know whether I should keep trying to work things out or if it’s time to walk away.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you navigate a relationship when your partner shuts down emotionally? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.