Making things worse?

Ok, I've been trying to do the tapes as one of my 2025 goals is taking better care of my self. But my main issue is instead of a more positive outlook. I've actually gotten much worse. Feelings of hate, rage, the total opposite of gratitude and joy. I most definitely don't want to have this negative mindset but the more I try to not think that way the worse it seems to get. I'm becoming shorter and angrier with those I love. I'm tempted to just stop. I see under the mental health section there is a link to different meditations to help with that. My question is has anyone besides the person who posted that tried them and did it help? Or did you find just taking a break to be better?