How much longer should I make myself wait to begin medical transition (internal transphobia)

I've known since I was 15. De-transitioned at 18. Repressed til about a year ago (23 now). Finally accepted it. No one has ever really opposed me being transgender. Not family or friends

Since I already tried to repress (and it didnt work) there is obviously no question as to whether I am transgender or not. However I still feel some anxiety and maybe some internal transphobia.

I already pass pretty well, I always have. I'm very androgynous and started voice training at 15. I do want to start HRT. The thing is that, I want top surgery way more than T. Which is expensive.

I plan on getting insurance from my employer (Walmart) in October. I don't even know if they have transgender health care. But I definitely don't have 10k or much knowledge about top surgery.

Going back to T, I would love to have a naturally deeper voice. I've often thought about how I will probably only feel the need to use T for a few months for the voice and then I can stop. But I keep waiting and putting it off, because of fear. Not fear of regret or anything, I honestly just think that it's internalized transphobia. So I keep making myself wait. Do I keep waiting until I feel absolutely ready? Or do I muster the courage to begin transition because deep down I truly know who I am and how I want to be?

I have been struggling with this for a long time.