Men’s clothing and suppressing my personality makes me depressed. But so does getting misgendered every day

I’m 26, been on T for 3 years, been out of the closet and transitioned socially for 14 years. I’ve tried dressing to pass, and it can sort of work. But repressing my personality and sense of style and uniqueness by wearing boring/basic men’s clothes to pass makes me seriously depressed and deeply unhappy. It’s not me anymore. I love my trans body and I love transitioning. I hate getting misgendered every day. It makes me despise being alive at times. I have medium long hair with beautiful waves and I don’t want to cut it off. I love my queer, colorful, “feminine” closet. I love my tastes and I am a huge geek about fashion. I utterly loathe that I have to conform to western cis standards of masculinity in order to receive basic respect!! This world is not ready for cool dudes like me. I wear pronoun pins but y’all know people don’t read lmao. My facial hair is covered up because I mask. I am not interested in passing outside of wanting to be treated with respect and seen as my identity. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this? Therapists and family do not understand why I don’t want to “put in the effort” to be perceived as male, despite everything they know about me and my medical and social transition and my history. I know they see me as unserious and potentially confused. But I know myself. I am strong in myself. I’ve been out living as a trans man for most of my life. I’m just so tired. And so depressed about it. The only thing that helps is living with other lovely trans people, and my girlfriend who is amazing and also a GNC trans person. She’s an adorable, beautiful, perfect butch trans fem gal and we are really able to support each other in this, but when I step outside of the house I feel like I’m living in between two worlds. I am so distressed about being invisible in my gender. I’m not closeted, I insist on my pronouns and name being used at work and I am treated as delusional by a lot of my coworkers for requesting this. I dress masc sometimes, when I want to! But why can’t I just live my life and be myself without being mistreated every day? I often take a moment to reflect that at least I’m not experiencing the danger of transmisogyny or any transphobic violence, but my mental health is deteriorating and I am deeply deeply unhappy like this. I wish the world would just change faster. It is especially painful when other trans people don’t seem to get it. In case you were wondering, yes, I do have dysphoria. I just think the notion of gendered clothing is absolutely ridiculous and needs to get lost in the past.

Advice? Words of encouragement? Places to look for support or resources?