sex as an exmuslim

hi the title is pretty straightforward but i have a fwb and we’re gonna. like. y’know. in a week but i’m a virgin and fucking religious trauma or whatever is making me so anxious about it and i feel so weird and keep going back and forward about it. i know he’s gonna be kind to me or whatever but i still feel so icky about it :/ im gonna have to sneak out of the house too and shit cause obviously im not allowed to hang with guys or even fucking look at one.

how was anyone else’s first time like? was it also really nerve wracking for you or is this literally me being a loser :/