I've had spiritual experiences and can't convince myself they were due to elevation emotion or coincidence.

How many of us, before and after leaving Mormonism, have had spiritual experiences that seem too hard to explain away as elevation emotion, *edit* confirmation bias, or mere coincidence?

I had some experiences on my mission that I can't explain away easily. One occurred during a summer morning when I was having a particularly difficult time centering my attention during prayer. While trying to pray, I would lose my train of thought and would need to start the prayer over repeatedly. Frustrated with my inability to concentrate, I asked for God to help me focus so I could address everything I wanted to say in a thoughtful manner. Immediately, a sudden, intense pressure enveloped my head and pressed me into the face of my pillow with a force that seemed to originate from outside myself. A pinpoint of intense pressure centered itself within my head, building up sharply over a period of a few seconds and then, it suddenly released. In its wake, I was left with an acutely sharpened focus and clarity of mind that allowed me to easily engage in prayer without experiencing any lapses in focus.

As a medical professional, I do not believe this represented a seizure since those are usually accompanied by a post-ictal state characterized by confusion and drowsiness. My companion told me I was acting completely normal at the time. For over a decade in Mormonism, I thought perhaps God had responded to that prayer. Now that I am a post-Mormon, what do I make of it?

I know many post-Mormon podcasters have admitted to similar experiences. I believe RFM has described the barriers of his mind dropping and experiencing a 360-degree panoramic view while reading the BOM for the first time. I think Bill Reel has also shared experiences of having a vision, and of inexplicable coincidences occurring while he was a bishop and serving others.

After much searching, I've decided for myself that I can't go down the route of atheism. I began exploring the nature of consciousness and have found an answer that works for me. You don't have to become an atheist if you leave religion, and you don't have to be comfortable not being sure of anything, like an agnostic.

There's a surprising amount of empirical evidence supporting the existence of an underlying reality not grounded in physical matter interactions. Quantum physics has shown us that reality doesn't become discrete until it is observed. Researchers at the University of Virginia have found inexplicable cases of children with memories attributed to a past life. Ganzfeld experiments have found that isolated subjects can apparently mentally transfer information to each other under controlled conditions. And much more.

In the following links, I provide an introduction to how I deconstructed Mormonism and Christianity, rebuilt a worldview placing consciousness as the base unit of reality, and explored empirical evidence supporting the survival of personal consciousness beyond death.

I know some in the post-Mormon space do not allow room for such talk and think everything must be explained by a world grounded in physicalism. I hope they allow me space to explore and share a different view.

I haven't gotten my Mormon family to read it and want some feedback. Please be generous in excusing any errors in syntax or grammar.

Here are the links to the Google drive:

Preview Part 1: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vmdb2ruMeBMX2qouCtMGb0g76JY8EOMa/view?usp=sharing

*Edit: Preview Part 2: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iOBaket_3JhTlX39Vyc5kXe2Ls8mL5iF/view?usp=sharing