wrong answers only — “what’s wrong with your leg? what’s with the cane?”

hullo fellow mobility aid users! i started using a cane as needed recently and i work in retail. my customers loveeee to comment on it. my customers smoke the devils lettuce and sometimes lack social boundaries (i sell legal cannabis). today these crustomers are really bugging me. first thing this morning i got called grandma by a dude i maybe see once a month (not nearly enough rapport for a “joke” like that to land well, also i’m trans and didn’t appreciate the double whammy of ableism + being misgendered). this was followed up by 8 more customers who all wanted to comment on or have conversations about my disability… one lady even tried to push medical advice on me and say i just needed to get more sun and exercise more (girl what do i think i’m using the cane for, i walked to work w this)?

Of course some people are well meaning, i’m not denying that, but i just don’t wanna spend my whole day talking about my personal health experiences and hearing how sorry people are that i have to use a cane… cus also i like my cane?! it helps me get around and i get to showcase my sticker collection ;) i know the questions aren’t gonna stop, especially because i only use the cane when i’m having especially sore/ fatigued days, so sometimes customers meet me without the it and then are surprised the next time they see me with it. sooooo i’m thinking to make it more enjoyable, i’m gonna start giving extremely goofy wrong answers when people ask me “what’s wrong?”, then we can hopefully have a laugh (or they just get trolled) and move along to me selling them good bud and them leaving happy. hopefully this made sense, i’m really tired today but just want to come up with a fun solution to this annoying problem.

TLDR; i work in the legal cannabis industry and my stoner customers keep less than tactfully commenting on my cane/ asking inappropriate questions. help me come up with goofy wrong answers that i can use instead of feeling pressure to talk about my personal health experiences / diagnosis. Thanks <3