First Methotrexate shot today, pregnancy of unknown location.

I’m sad to be here. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for years, got put on letrozole for ovulation induction, and got pregnant straight away! I was so focused on getting pregnant, that I let my brain forgot that the hardest job is getting a healthy baby at the end. I’m absolutely devastated.

Started my period in November, but had another period 29th-23rd November, blazing OPk’s after I finished bleeding which led me to take a pregnancy test. Had HCG which came back at around 1270. Following day, had a sharp cramping pain followed by immediate bleeding. Went to A&E who advised they thought it was the start of a miscarriage as my HCG had dropped to around 1000, booked me in at the early pregnancy unit yesterday morning for scan. Couldn’t see any obvious pregnancy in tubes or womb. Was given miscarriage leaflets, booked in for a blood test this morning and sent on my way. Had blood tests, came home and they rang me with the results saying that it wasn’t dropping like they’d hoped, and had increased 5% since my first beta. Was told it was likely an ectopic pregnancy of unknown location. I would’ve been around 6w 2d.

I’ve been given my first dose of MTX and sent on my way until repeat blood tests day 4 and 7.

I feel mentally and physically exhausted from all the there and backs to the hospital, with no end in sight yet. I’m terrified of a rupture. And I’m grieving a very wanted pregnancy. I’m also absolutely gutted that I’ll have to wait 3 months the to start trying again after my HCG’s get to 0. I just want to be pregnant with a normal, healthy pregnancy (I had a TFMR in 2016 at 13w1d due to anencephaly / neural tube defect). I had forgotten how incredibly draining my pregnancy loss is (I’d also naively thought I’d had so much bad luck previously that surely nothing could go wrong for me).