Family can be really inconsiderate and selfish

TW: Addiction, family abuse, unalive talk

I am stuck literally stuck in life and no one seems to get it or care. I'm disabled with mostly mental health and some slight physical stuff and I give all my money to keep my family afloat and never made a fuss about it besides wanting an equal footing with parents since I provide also and mostly got it to their credit. Yet there is still my narcissistic brother who is genuinely a psychopath and the biggest piece of shit known to man. He likes to claim to be a former heroin addict which is not true at all its just him trying to be able to use the threat of "relapse" to get sexual favors from girls and free weed from guys. Well simultaneously driving by the shelter dangling a cigarette out the window to mock the addicts at the shelter. For the record I find his actions completely disgusting and I wish every addict the best and apologize for my brother's actions. Yet he will go around telling everyone I'm a bum and etc when I literally been providing for as long as he's been faking being an addict for clout. Then when he makes offhand comments "do you got your money haaa" and I say I left wallet at home and dad says "that's what they all say" like what the fuck? I'm your disabled son paying a chunk of your bills and keeping you afloat and your asshole of a son only provided after mom threatened to kick him out and he only provides on occasion. Like first off dad needs to tell brother to shut the fuck up when 1. I'm paying his bills and 2. The family's fucked up situation put the final nail in the coffin that I'm doomed to die alone. I would genuinely go under some government secret surgery if it existed to just be able to join the military and fuck off from home and this family. I've genuinely considered reaching out to the Navy since they got good medical and just be like fix me and I'll do 20 years. Even one of my uncles will say stuff like "stop being a burden to society" They are lucky I am even here still! What do I got to live for? Another 60 years of being stuck well all my friends forget about me because they are getting married and having kids? Sitting alone in some shitty apartment alone on the holidays will the laughter of a neighbor's family party mocks me? The reason I'm even here is because unaliving self would sink the family to being homeless. Yet no one appreciates a fucking thing and just talks shit/spreads lies or makes backhand jokes. The only person I can give credit to for being grateful is my mom who I take care of when she is constantly dizzy and needing help taking care of herself. To give dad credit he is thankful but the jokes are just wrong when he knows my money is on his card right now. I'm just so fucking done. I'm sorry for going off. But I want to reassure everyone I am safe and okay. I just needed to blow off steam. Thank you.