I’ve failed in life, have no possessions, been SA’d and I’m stuck living with my abusers I genuinely don’t know how much longer I can do this

The title basically says it. I’m just aging and rotting and watching everyone else thrive while I’m still a sheltered loser stuck in a stupid fucking program for education and everyone else gets to have a normal life with friends and expectations and im just stuck like an animal. Im still living with my family and it’s a nightmare I don’t know how to move out or support myself I genuinely feel like im 12 mentally. It’s a fucking hell house and my only reprieve is when I get to drive or when I go to bed. It’s so loud constantly and so dirty and I don’t even interact with the monsters who call themselves my parents anymore I just want someone to pay attention to me I don’t even have friends I’m such a fucking reject I’m genuinely better off dead.

The only thing going for me in life is the date I’m going on tonight and I don’t even know if I care anymore or if he has good intentions. I just don’t even feel alive