Kinda got whiplash from going back to feeling like an emotionless rock after 1 day of kinda bad withdrawal symptoms (lexapro)

I missed my dose like twice because my mom forgot to give it to me before going to work and i felt a little insane waking up so anxious and it getting worse, like on the verge of freaking out as the day went on. Besides being tired to the bone and the headaches, I felt so indescribably hollow And stuff
My mom keeps all the medicine so I wasn’t able to get it until like 1 of clock in the morning when she came back from work and it ofc didn’t help immediately so sleeping was more of a pain in the ass as usual.

I felt like things that I didn’t care about before came back to bite me in the ass and tell me YES ACTUALLY YOU ARE INSECURE/ANXIOUS ABOUT THIS NOW. Like on medication, I am basking in the peacefulness of being alone and not having to be reaching out to people (I’m homeschooled now) but then I felt so bad thinking about how Im missing out on the high school experience, how I’m a lonely nobody, how maybe I’m going to be wasting away the best years of my life, extreme FOMO stuff, etc. I didn’t feel safe in my own room anymore, wishing I was in a room in a room in a room indefinitely to just lock myself away from everything in the world because literally every sound and thought was making me anxious.

But now today I feel better, notably less anxious and stuff but it was like a rollercoaster cus I up shitty, got increasingly more chipper as the day went on (a little hyperactive even) but now I feel wrong because that depressive cloud is missing. I feel like cutting again because i don’t even know. Does this makes sense to anyone else, like hopefully something like this is relatable?