I didn’t realize I have been depressed.

I see everything as a chore, as something that ugh I have to do today. I would rather stay at home and chill than go out and have fun because the idea sounds fun but then when I think about it a little harder I’d rather just stay home. I thought this was just me being introverted. Then I started Lexapro and holy shit my eyes opened. I got shit done, I WANTED to go get stuff done. I had a hunger for life. But I had to stop because the side effects were so severe my doctor told me to stop immediately. That made me realize how depressed I really am and it makes me more depressed and incredibly sad to see how I could be living life vs how I am. I regularly exercise, go for walks, do a gratitude journal, hydrate, and I was in therapy for over a year. None of this is helping. I feel so lost and sad for myself. I WANT to want to do things, I want to have that hunger and motivation. But I just don’t have it. I’ve been like this since elementary school and thought that since I finally don’t want to die, I must not be depressed. I guess I was wrong.