Tips? It’s too soon

Preface: myself (27f) and my husband (29m) have been together a total of 7 years, married for 3 of them. I’m at a breaking point. I just feel so unhappy and feel it’s too soon to be struggling like this. Not that at any age, couples “should” struggle. But we used to be crazy about one another and now I just feel like a nanny in the house caring for our almost 1 year old.

More info: My husband is addicted to video games. I knew this before marrying, of course. It’s been a problem before with him staying up late and just never ever coming to bed with me. It feels so lonely and it’s like he’s choosing his computer over me. I’m on this Reddit tonight seeking advice myself as my husband will always from 8 pm (when I bring our baby to bed) until past midnight play video games. If I go back out to the living room, it’s like I’m bothering him. He’s told me before that it’s his “alone time.” When do I get alone time??? I’ve “caught” him twice now watching porn when I have walked out to grab water. And these were months apart. It’s not like it was two nights back to back where I was expecting it or anything. And okay, the excuse “all men do it.” It just feels defeating when I try to initiate and I’m turned down. Him out there is “less work” but I told him I just feel disrespected if anything because I am often trying to initiate yet he’ll look at other women online for (somewhat) of that same feeling. I don’t feel wanted, I feel ignored. I don’t feel pretty if he’s saying no because I feel what’s wrong with me. After having a baby (almost 1 year now), I feel less and less confident. I brought it up tonight how we only do have sex once a week really and I got the blame of, “well you’re always busy on the weekends going places and during the week I’m too stressed out with work.” (Note: he never wants to do anything ever. So I make plans, invite him, and it’s 90% of the time him wanting to stay home). The blame shouldn’t be on me. For over 4 hours a night (often more because he’ll play before the baby sleeps too) he’s on his stupid games. Yes, a hobby. Yes, I’m just in our bedroom. But alone. Again, because it’s his “alone time” away from work and I suppose us. But really? Come pursue me. Our child has a pretty consistent bedtime. I just feel he’s choosing his games over me. Every. Single. Night. I don’t get touched by him, he used to slap my butt when I walked by, I barely even get kissed anymore I feel like. I feel humiliated often for being turned down. We used to be far more intimate. Naturally, the honeymoon phase phases out since we’ve been together 7 years now. But I didn’t expect this much. He is stressed at work since he started a new job. But hellllllo, we can RELIEVE some of that stress. I don’t even like mentioning it to him anymore. I feel embarrassed because I want to be pursued. Or if we finally do, I feel like it’s only because I “complained” and then I don’t even enjoy it.

I feel so unhappy. I know for me, after sex I just feel happier and it’s a “just what I needed.” But even lately, when we finally do, it just seems like a chore. A “check, let’s meet here again next weekend.” I don’t even like bringing it up anymore because it turns on me somehow and/or he has some lame excuse of being tired, how the baby might wake up, how we will in the morning- but never do. I’m starting to not want to initiate either. I’m at a loss and losing interest in someone who just isn’t interested in me. I want to fix it and I haven’t necessarily considered leaving as we have a child together and we do love one another. Any tips appreciated.