Miss u, hate u

I don’t even know who this is for but I just needed to get this out of my mind right now. So:

Most of my life I always thought I was hard to love. It was like a void, an abyss that swallowed me, never to be seen again. Until this one day I met Jack, Jack was someone who helped me come out of that void. We had a great long-distance relationship that lasted 2 whole years. It was my first time in a really, really long time experiencing that warmth again. Until one day, February 3rd Jack left me. Jack died and he left me all alone in this lousy, crappy, bullshit place again. This was something that would again shatter my reality and throw me back into that void. I miss you Jack and I hate you for leaving me alone again. I had just buried it deep inside but no matter what it’s still there. Haunting me to this day. I started liking other people again but Jack would always still be at the back of my mind.

So Jack: I wanted you to know that despite the fact that I hate you for leaving me I still miss you.