I had a dream about a Buffy episode that doesn’t exist.

It was set sometime in the later high school era.

Cordelia’s birthday was coming up and she was super excited to get a nose job.

She was going to get it done at this super weird spa clinic where everything was very white with pink accents.

The spa was run by these two blonde people named Barbara and Kenneth (lol).

The initial theory was that Kenneth and Barbara were vampires, but it actually turned out that they and all the other spa people were cultist warlocks and wannabe-immortals who had been harvesting body parts from young people to swap out with their own and the young people were all going missing.

I remember that Kenneth’s face melted off at the end? I assume Barbara’s did too. They had been around since the 1800s, so I assume it was like their true age catching up to them.

Also at one point Willow called the spa “Mary Shelley’s Barbie Dream House”, which I thought was funny. Good one, subconscious?

It was a side thing early in the episode that Cordelia had Buffy come to the consultation with her (I forget why?). Barbara made Buffy a little insecure by saying “you won’t be young forever”. Buffy started thinking about how if she doesn’t die young because she’s a slayer, she’ll age, but Angel won’t, and all the drama that comes with that.

Needless to say, Cordy did not get a nose job.

Also Xander got locked in a tanning bed at one point? But thankfully it was switched off and he was fine.

Weird dream, but a fun one!