I’m doing yet another rewatch and I finally realized why I don’t like Willow
She reminds me a lot of myself. During my first rewatch a few years ago I found myself relating to Willow a lot during the high school/college years. Gifted kid, struggles socially (don’t struggle as much anymore because I’ve grown into myself more), bisexual, and the various self esteem and destructive tendencies. One of the only real issues is she could push herself to do schoolwork. I’m good at pretty much all subjects besides some math but I test really well and always have teachers telling me how smart I am and how much I could achieve if I tried. But season 5-7 Willow left a bad taste in my mouth with the whole mind raping Tara thing. This led me to seeing myself more and more in Oz every rewatch. (likely idealization because I’m big into 90s and rock stuff plus he’s just pretty cool in general but still with his own issues) But this rewatch after things I’ve done and felt the last year and a half or so my perspective changed. In that time I’ve struggled with depression/bipolar disorder and some serious self loathing. I started dabbling in weed. At first just because it was a good time and a way to hang out with friends but then as I started buying it myself I started using to numb the pain and sense of self. I watched Smashed, Wrecked, and Gone this morning and it all finally clicked. The reason I’ve grown to dislike Willow is because I see myself in her and it sort of frightens me in a way. Seeing this sweet and caring girl who reminds me of myself lose her sparkle guts me. It hits close to home as a fear that’s the path I’m headed down. I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed do.
She reminds me a lot of myself. During my first rewatch a few years ago I found myself relating to Willow a lot during the high school/college years. Gifted kid, struggles socially (don’t struggle as much anymore because I’ve grown into myself more), bisexual, and the various self esteem and destructive tendencies. One of the only real issues is she could push herself to do schoolwork. I’m good at pretty much all subjects besides some math but I test really well and always have teachers telling me how smart I am and how much I could achieve if I tried. But season 5-7 Willow left a bad taste in my mouth with the whole mind raping Tara thing. This led me to seeing myself more and more in Oz every rewatch. (likely idealization because I’m big into 90s and rock stuff plus he’s just pretty cool in general but still with his own issues) But this rewatch after things I’ve done and felt the last year and a half or so my perspective changed. In that time I’ve struggled with depression/bipolar disorder and some serious self loathing. I started dabbling in weed. At first just because it was a good time and a way to hang out with friends but then as I started buying it myself I started using to numb the pain and sense of self. I watched Smashed, Wrecked, and Gone this morning and it all finally clicked. The reason I’ve grown to dislike Willow is because I see myself in her and it sort of frightens me in a way. Seeing this sweet and caring girl who reminds me of myself lose her sparkle guts me. It hits close to home as a fear that’s the path I’m headed down. I’m not quite sure how I’m supposed do.