Had sex while manic and I regret it terribly

This was my first time. I’ve never had sex before. And I regret it so bad. I have sexual trauma so I feel like this is affecting me more than I want it to. I was also so obsessed with this guy. I thought we were soulmates, I thought he wanted me. I definitely made him uncomfortable. To be honest I also thought we were gonna get married. I feel so horrible. I feel disgusting. I should’ve never done it. I don’t know what I was thinking. Does anyone have similar stories and how they overcame it? I don’t know what to do at this moment. I just feel so so so terrible.