When and why to disclose SI to the psychiatrist?

Tw: suicide, si

Diagnosed in the summer, hospitalized twice for mania + psychosis. Im sober and take my meds (mood stabilizer + anti-psychotic)

Im scared telling my psychiatrist i self harm and want to die will lead to another hospitalization. Im not actually going to do anything but i also, during mixed episode, am researching methods, testing them out, and have passive plans to get my SO to leave me so i can die without making them miserable. But im not going to act on it, ive been suicidal since i was a child.

I tell my dr when the depression is getting worse and get my meds increased so whats the difference if i disclose SI? Am i in denial about how bad this is? What will happen to me if i do fess up?

Thanks btw