Bridesmaid 4months PP?

I know there are other questions similar to this but my circumstances are a tad different so hoping I can still get some feedback.

I’ve already told the bride that I won’t be able to participate in the bachelorette trip and the shower. The wedding, however, is 4months pp with my second baby.

I just found out that no kids (and no babies) are allowed. I genuinely don’t see how I can make this work.

• rehearsal dinner the night before is 45 minutes from home
• wedding is 45 minutes from home
• I’m expected to be there all day for getting ready, photos, wedding
• I plan to exclusively breastfeed (I’ll pump while I’m there but it will literally be in a bathroom stall)
• based on my pp experience with my first, I expect I will be an anxious, emotional mess
• my partner could miss the wedding but I would really prefer them not to
• our only reliable childcare will also be attending the wedding
• I already feel so guilty for not being able to support her by helping prep and attend the events leading up to the wedding

Edit to add: no one else in the bridal or grooms party has kids. I don’t blame them for not understanding or anticipating the difficulty of this.

How awful is it to insist that I have to have my baby there to feed, at least during the day?

Would it be better to just back out of being a bridesmaid?

I could rent an airbnb near the venue and have partner with kids there so I can pop in an out?

I might just be venting but external perspectives would be appreciated 😅