Are my sensory needs being ignored?

I (18 F) went to a restaurant with my mother and brother (16 M) one day, and this restaurant we picked wasn’t the quietest. While we were waiting on our food, I was stimming by tapping my knuckles. Mom told me to stop because it was making her nervous. She asked if I could play on my phone instead so I did. On the car ride home, I hand stimmed again. This time, I was only tapping my legs softly with my fingers, and mom once again asked me to stop because it was distracting her. She said she didn’t know why I just now do it like I haven’t been doing it my whole life. I told her that I just felt excited and needed to stim. I told her I didn’t see what the problem was and she replied, “Because you’re doing it.” After some more stimming, she started repeatedly banging her hand against her coffee cup in the cup carrier and was like “I guess this is what we’re doing now, annoying each other”. I then told her I can’t really control it, and she said “yes you can”. All that really pissed my brother off, mainly the cup thing. During the rest of the ride home, I was feeling very overwhelmed, and stimming would only make her angrier. When we got home, my brother told me to take care of myself down in my room. He had a serious talk with her while I was downstairs, sobbing because I was scared for him. I was covering my ears for most of it. I then heard my brother tell my mom to apologize to me, and she shouts, “I don’t need to apologize! I’m the adult and I can do whatever I want!” This argument went on for 30 minutes. I then heard my mom say “If you think my actions were childish, then that’s ok. But I did what I did to prove a point.” To be honest, I may have been scared during the whole thing, but that was the most immature behavior to come out of my own mother. Before you guys get to me, I did ask why my stimming was bothering her, but she didn’t answer. I don’t know how to take care of my sensory needs without upsetting her. Any advice or thoughts?