Am I a normal teenager?

(Before you read this I have level 2 autism, diagnosed when I was fourteen, and I have CPTSD)

I’m 17F, and I don’t really fit in. I’m always socially awkward, too shy and nervous to try and talk to others. Earlier this year I got into a fight with an ex-friend of mine. I’ll admit was in the wrong but after the fight she kept on harassing me, getting people to contact me, found my phone number and sent threating message, it got to the point where I considered taking my own life from how scared I was. (Also due to it constantly triggering my PTSD.)

I never told anyone in my year about this but she has told everyone. I have no friends in my year and I’m fine about that but sometimes it gets to me.

I see everyone drinking/partying while I’m at home playing video games or watching TV. I feel like such a looser, no one ever tries to include me. I don’t know, I’m just so lonely. Especially after a guy I was talking to for three months ghosted me. I just want to feel normal.