Historically straight? Looking for advice.

Straight man here, never had any gay sexual encounters but recently as I’ve hit my 30’s I find myself curious. I’ll download Grindr every now and again and chat and share photos and videos, and dirty talk and it’s so hot, I think the idea of bottoming is hot and whenever I’m horny I go right for gay porn. Issue is, the moment I finish I am repulsed. But the second I’m horny again im right back at it. Even bought a dildo the other day that I love. Idk what’s happening to me but if anyone’s had any similar experiences or advice would be great.