about to lose virginity and im fucking afraid cause my bfs d is fat asf

been in relationship with my boyfriend for like 2 months. this is my first relationship with a boy and im 19 virgin twink who somehow got with 27 year old hunk whos the sweetest person ive ever known. im very old school and i don't like the concept of hookups at all so im bit embarassed to tell that it took 2 months for us to make out. and oh my god where do i start. his dick is insanely fat like i can't even circle my fingers around it like. so. damn. big. i can't even get that tip past my teeth. and it's not like he's smooth/easy bout it. he's so fucking aggressive in bed it hurts he choked the shit outta me the minute we started to make out. im honestly so afraid bout the fact that I'll have to take that dick inside my tight virgin hole some day soon and thinking bout it my stomach hurts. i think ill get fissure or something i can't sleep it's 2am