As a fat guy...

I'm getting really tired with comments in this group that are essentially "it could be worse, at least you're not fat!" whenever someone (usually a young queer) posts about feeling insecure and miserable in their life.

I'm a fat guy, and my life is awesome! I have a loving, gorgeous partner, a huge community of people I adore, and feel like I've hit the jackpot on life. I love my body, my beard, and while I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, there's always been guys who've thought I was hot. On top of all of that, some of the most interesting, authentic, and empassioned queer people I've met are fat guys. Bears rule.

I know that big guys aren't everyone's preference, which is fair! Nobody has control over what they're attracted to. But I wish people would think a little critically before implying that being fat is a gay death sentence, or that fatness is the worst possible physical quality that a person can have. Especially when talking to young queer people who already have enough insecurities on their plate.

TL:DR I'm fat, and tired of people acting like being fat is the worst possible thing imaginable. My life rocks, and I know plenty of fat guys in the gay community who would agree. We should maybe think twice about telling young gay people that if they get fat they're going to be unlovable.

EDIT: I wanted to take a moment and reply to some of the most common complaints I've seen on this post:

"But I'm not attracted to fat people!"

Never said you have to be.

"But being fat isn't healthy!"

Never said it was.

"But I never see comments like this!"

Read the comments, there's people saying almost verbatim what I'm talking about about.

"But we shouldn't be encouraging fatness!"

If you think that discouraging fatness is worth ridiculing and ostracizing large swaths of the gay community, you sound like a cartoon villain.

Also, it seems like some of the most hurtful, angry comments have come from other fat guys or formerly fat guys. I'm sorry that the world was cruel to you, and that you've clearly internalized that cruelty. I hope you can find a partner and group of friends who will celebrate you in the way that you struggle to celebrate others.

And to any fat boys reading this: you're beautiful at all sizes. You just gotta find the people who look to see it. 💙✌️