This isn’t about you

So accepting I'm an addict. Anyway, my dad is a worrier, it's his personality and he's had life long anxiety but we have a great relationship.

It kills me when he brings up the worry that he's being a bad influence.

We meet up every other weekend. We get a couple drinks, he'll get one, I'll get four.

I'm using him for alcohol that's what addicts do, no I'll will but I need to drink. But I wish I could say to him please stop worrying that you're the bad guy.

I'm the bad guy. This is me unable to stop and lying to you about it. This isn't about you, I love you, You're a good father. You provide enough love for a life time.

It's me. I almost wish he'd say he doesn't like me. Because I tried therapy this week and I'm still hammering like the world is ending.

I'm a bastard. Say it to me.