Gyno Health Appointment Advice

Hi all. I would like some advice. So I am a Transgender Man (Female to Male) and I have a gyno appointment for a pap smear today. I know it's necessary for my health so i will do it.

But I was traumatized by my last pap. It was excruciatingly painful and I actually had to be given a Xanax before one of the following appointments in order to get it done. And it was still very painful. The doctor was very inconsiderate of my pain and was rude to me. After every pap I have gotten, I have sobbed and gone into a panic attack.

I felt violated and disgusting. I had nightmares about it for 2 weeks afterwards and have put off having a follow up because I have panic attacks just thinking about it.

I have a new doctor this time and I should really get this done. So I am looking for some advice on how to make the experience as not awful as I can. I am trying to figure out how to explain my situation as a Transman and my trauma without being dismissed. And what to do if I am being dismissed.

Thanks for reading and any advice would be greatly appreciated.