I'm feeling alone after a negative pregnancy test

I'm only 20 years old, I don't feel ready for a baby at all. I'm a college student, entrepreneur so I don't have an stable income, I have only been dating my boyfriend for 7 months now and I'm on the pill.

My period was 5 days late, took a pregnancy test just in case and it came back negative. My boyfriend hugged me, told me "I love you" and said that I was shaking (or was my first time doing a pregnancy test so I was nervous).

At first I was relieved, I'm not ready for a kid and never wanted kids at all, but for some reason after a few minutes I felt some type of void and loneliness. I went to the bathroom to cry for a moment, washed my face and came back with my boyfriend. I laid down in bed, talked a bit with him about random stuff about YouTube videos and work. He's super sweet and always gives me kisses, he kissed my belly and I started feeling bad again. My boyfriend noticed and offered a hug and when he hugged me I broke down crying.

He told me it's probably pms, gave me some kisses and asked me if I wanted a chocolate or something to eat so he could get it for me. I told him I was sad because of the pregnancy test and that I didn't understood why since I don't want kids, he said it probably was something like maternal instincts and the fact it was my first time doing a test.

At night we had invited previously a friend to watch movies, drink and eat pizza. I didn't drink much compared to what I usually drink but I started feeling super sad and nauseous. I threw up in the bathroom and started crying, the bathroom is small so my boyfriend came in while our friend waited for us. He though I was only drunk (I never threw up before being drunk so he was fully supportive and kind), I ended up having a panic attack that our friend said lasted like half an hour. Both my boyfriend and our friend were fully supportive and tried to help me, I love them.

I still feel a bit of a void, is this normal? why do I feel this way? I don't know why I feel this way if I never wanted kids.