Yes.

Yes, I've thought about suic!de before. In fact, I'm thinking about it right now. I'm thinking about how it would be so much easier to just end it right here, right now. Imagine. Just imagine all the pain disappearing just as your pulse stopped beating. All the loneliness, all the suffering, all the ugly messes in your mind, popped like a bubble, and in an instant, they're gone.

They say when you die, all this weight inside of you can't come with you as a spirit. It will stay in this world where it belongs. When I learned about that, I started admiring death. I started looking forward to it. Because wouldn't that be beautiful? Being freed from the weight of it all.

I hope I'm okay though.

There are still A LOT of things I want to do in this world. I still want to feel better. I still want to feel happiness I've never felt before. I still want to go to places I've never been before. I still want to find love, and for love to find me. I still want to go scream my lungs out on top of that very tall hill. I still want to go skydiving, learn how to swim, get lost in the mountains, and pet all the cute animals I'd come across.

I still want to do things.

So no, I won't do it.