Litteraly...I'm sorry

To everyone who says, "You've ruined your life. You should have done this or that. You should have listened" I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being mentally and spiritually unwell. I’m sorry for being so broken that I was blind to the wrongs I did to myself and others. I’m sorry that I couldn’t listen, even though I tried. I fought so hard, but my mind worked against me every step of the way. Back then, I didn’t realize that I was—and still am my own worst enemy. I’m sorry for being this way.

To everyone who says, "You should have told the truth. You shouldn’t have lied. You should have been patient. You’ve ruined yourself and the brilliant life you could have had" I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being a liar, a pathological one. I’ve heard it’s a kind of sickness. I’m sorry for being so lost in my own illness that I lied even to myself, convincing myself I was someone I wasn’t. I’m sorry for being a coward, for being weak, for hiding so deeply that when I needed to find myself, I couldn’t.

To everyone who thinks I’m a disappointment you’re right.

I wanted to be a good person. I tried, and I failed. And for that, I’m sorry...it's a lie