Dealing with physical change is consuming my thoughts. What are some tools I could use to help me through this change.

Hi! I’m ADHD in my mid 30’s and am on adhd meds which help but I am currently dealing with physical change as in I got breast implants because I wanted them. Back story: I got my first set in 2011 and had then 10 years. I had no problems and they were a modest natural size. They totally looked like I was born with them. I was super flat chested before and dealt with a lot of insecurity because of that.

I decided to explant (remove my implants) in 2021 because I was very scared I’d develop BII (Breast implant illness) and didn’t want to pay for replacements for the rest of my life. I lived 3 years without implants and I was very self conscious and felt depressed so I decided this spring to get them back. I went to my same plastic surgeon and asked for what I had before. I originally had 285cc moderate profile.

He recommended that since I breastfed my kids I should change the model and increase the size a bit. He recommended a much bigger size of 385cc but I said that was too large. I wanted natural looking. He recommended 325cc full profile. I was on board and didn’t question it.

Fast forward to 1 month after surgery and everyday my thoughts have been consumed with worry that the change in model is SO much bigger and that it’s not what I wanted. I wanted what I had before since I felt comfortable in that. It’s what I was used to. They look natural for me but different. They stick out more than my others and are a tad bigger. I’m still healing so I’m hoping they feel comfortable soon. I have sensory issues with discomfort so that doesn’t help me trying not to think about them ALL day long.

Do you have any advice on how I can calm my hyperfixation on worrying I chose the wrong size? I know this is ADHD related because I keep going down rabbit holes online looking up people with my same implants and then I get freaked out because theirs look HUGE.