I don't like the relationship between my husband and his "work wife", and neither does her partner.
ps: I wrote his post last night and fell asleep afterwards. this morning I just went to work. OMG guys! thank you so much for the support and the beautiful words. I will try to read all your comments and messages. I just wanted to make this edit to explain why I haven't answered any of you. I'm sorry and thank you. I will talk to my husband tonight or maybe tomorrow. I will make an update about my situation.
English is not my first language, I just want to put it out there because I see how you people are brutal when grammar is bad.
I'm a beautician (f35) married to an engineer (m34). He is very intelligent and I'm always proud of him. He has a colleague who is also very intelligent (f31), obviously, that he is close to. Before the events that lead me to this moment of seeking help online, I never had any reason to be uncomfortable about his relationship with her. I always felt secure in our relationship. We're both independent people who would just leave if we weren't happy together. We've been together for 5 years, married for 1,5.
My husband and I were on a 3 days trip with my husbands colleagues. A tradition at his work every autumn. We came home yesterday morning. I had a bad taste in my mouth after this trip. It felt like me and the colleague's partner (m35ish) where the third (and fourth) wheel to my husband and his colleague during the entire trip. During dinner, the second night. I was sitting silently playing with my food after almost two days of being ignored. The partner was also silent at first but we started talking a bit asking each other generic questions. The colleague who was in a very loud argument with my husband (more of a back and forth teasing) suddenly turned around and asked what we two (partner and me) were up to talking quietly. Her partner said that were just getting to know each other since they (husband and colleague) were too busy talking about things we knew nothing about. The colleague laughed and said: What could we discuss with you? Make up and Kim Kardashian?, and she nodded towards me. We have more intelligent things to discuss. I was dumbfounded. I guess because I'm a beautician I can only discuss Kim Kardashian? I mean any outsider to any profession would be dumb listening into two people discussing work related subjects. they could've been as ignorant if I was talking to my co workers about our job. My husband just laughed and the partner said: That's rude. I said nothing because I had distaste for the whole situation. On the last day of the trip I spent most of my time with the partner. I ignored the other two.
Yesterday evening the partner dmed me and wanted to talk about our SO's. He said that he has been feeling uncomfortable about his gf's relationship with my husband and that he went through her messages. He sent me screens where my husband and his colleague are basically calling me stupid and shallow and laugh about it. Well mostly the colleague saying mean things and my husband laughing and adding in. Sometimes he would say something like: No I love her (about me) and she would answer: You only like bangin hot dumb chicks, and they laugh. When the texts aren't about my stupidity, they're about work and In one of them my husband wrote: I love your brain!!! to her. I started crying when I saw the screenshots. Never have I ever felt so self conscious about my brains or profession. I love my job and I thought my husband loved it too or at least didn't have this disdain for it. I've been my own boss for over 10 years and I make closer to 6 figures. I never thought myself as a dum person. I like to think that I'm fairly well informed and I have passion for history, languages, cultures etc but yes I'm not an engineer working on some design for artificial hearts. Still, the texts complimenting the colleague, hurt me more than the ones making fun of me. I don't know why.
I think my husband and his colleague are out of line at best and, well probably screwing. I still don't know what to do. The last thing I wanna be is the insecure wife. If he isn't happy with me why is he here?