I feel like I'm drowning

I want to apologise for my rambling and eventual errors but I'm writing this text from my phone and I am not in the best shape mentally. Two months ago, after many months of troubles with almost everything that my future depended on (job, education, relationship, mental health) I got, what I thought to be, my dream job. I have always had troubles living a normal life. For couple of years I was working full-time a mostly night shift job and studying full time also. I slept about 10h every week. My mental health got really bad and I fucked up my studies right at the finish line. I was almost put in a mental hospital because it got so bad. After trying with all my might to put my life together as best as I could I got my dream job. I am unable to explain it here but I was thrown out from my home by my parents because of this. I spent over a month living on my friends couches, trying to fix my studies and working two jobs (weekend one and the "dream" one). I needed to make money so I could rent something and the weekend job helped me clear my head after all of this. I didn't see any other way. I managed to find something nice to rent. I thought that the income I earned would be enough to allow me piece and quiet to focus on working on everything else. But as it turns up because of all what was/is happening I didn't meet the dream job's expectations and I will be out of the job on Friday. I feel like I'm stranded in the middle of the ocean. I paddle my hands and feet as hard as I can to not drown but deep down I know that all that effort is meaningless. I could just stop paddling. I don't see my future ever getting easier, there is no shore on the horizon. I am thinking this weekend could be a great time to finally stop all of this. I would do this now but I don't want to cause more trouble than necessary and on Friday I will be giving back my work phone and laptop and I don't want my family to go through with this.

I am in my lowest low ever. I just want all that to end.

Tldr: I'm a failure.