My boyfriend has a feeder kink and it’s ruining our relationship.

On my throwaway for this. Basically my boyfriend and I started dating in January of this year and we’ve been together officially for 7 months. When we first started dating, I was already a big girl. I was probably 230lbs at 5’8 but I knew that didn’t really matter to my boyfriend because he always expressed how attracted he was to me. For some weird reason though, he was always pushy and adamant about knowing EVERYTHING about what I was eating. Literally he’d ask me every 5 seconds if I’m hungry, or what I ate for dinner, or bringing up food in some way to me. At the time, he worked and I was unemployed, so he always bought me fast food. Like, ALWAYS. There were some weeks he literally bought me McDonald’s 3-4 times for delivery. I was at a really dark point in my life, getting fired from my previous job and just a struggling 20 year old. That dopamine rush from food was definitely some of the only dopamine I got in my day, so I accepted his offers thinking there was no ill intent and he was just being a caring boyfriend. I gained 25 lbs through January-June. Come to find out, it all makes sense why he is so obsessed with what I eat and getting me food. He would get hard-ons just from me eating. One time, over call, if I had just finished the food he got me he would start jerking off when I muted, thinking I wasn’t there. I started to get severely uncomfortable and just cut the shit one day and asked him, “Do you have a feeder kink or something?” Of course, he was silent for a while then said yes. I felt … pretty damn disgusted, knowing that all of the “nice” things he’s done for me wasn’t actually out of the goodness of his heart and just fuelling his kink that quite frankly made me see him a lot differently. I tried to engage with this kink of his after finding out with an open mind to try to be a good girlfriend, but it was just so fucking disgusting and weird to me I couldn’t. Somehow this really motivated me to lose weight because I literally felt fetishized for existing, I know he’s my boyfriend but I just HATED that. I started losing weight in June and now im down 30lbs and plan to keep going until I’m a healthy weight. He would tell you otherwise but I know he doesn’t like this at all. He acts weird to me now, like he’s not as ecstatic about being together. He doesn’t spend a fucking CENT on me anymore, which wouldn’t bother me if he didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on me a month before to try and ruin my body for his fucked up fetish. Before you comment to talk it out with him, I’ve tried. So hard. But he acts like everything is fine no matter what to avoid conflict. I’ve straight up asked him if he wouldn’t find me attractive if I was thinner and he always says “I’ll always find you attractive!” Despite barely ever expressing it anymore. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much, he is very sweet and caring but I feel so horrified that he was purposely trying to ruin my body (which he already knew I was incredibly self conscious about) for his own fetish, without telling me, for months. I feel uncomfortable every time we talk about food now, even if it’s something innocent because I never actually know if it is or not. I’m hoping to God this will just fade and be normal eventually.