Narcissists assume others envy them

One of the most disorienting things about coming across a narcissist, is the way that they have full conviction in their view of reality, however distorted it might be.

One narcissist I knew (this was before I knew anything about the disorder and its distinct patterns) would be so legitimately surprised that I would be approached on a night out that she actually suggested I was “making eyes” at men and that’s why they were coming on to me, not her.

I’ve also noticed that they tend to react to triggers in a certain way: if someone has a hobby that intimidates them, they bring up how pointless that is or how they spend their time less frivolously.

It’s almost like their view of reality is: “if you are confident and focused on your own goals, how can I feel like I’m doing better? I require you to see me as superior, so of course everything that you do or anyone who favours you over me is somehow a fluke, mistake or fraudulent in some way.”

It’s to the point where they will assume their challenges in life are from other people’s envy towards them instead of just admitting to their own fallibility and relative mediocrity.

A former friend I knew started wearing an evil eye amulet when she got acne. She would say she wanted to regain clear skin but look at me for some kind of emotional reaction after saying it, as if I was somehow the reason. She later found out from the doctor that it was a hormonal flair up.

Another former friend put on a documentary about Bulimia while we ate dinner together as housemates. We had a similar diet but I was slim and she was obese (morbidly). I think this was her way of rationalising the difference. I’m not bulimic, she was simply notably overweight and trying to deflect personal accountability for that. Something was definitely amiss.

This is how committed they are to their grandiosity 🤦‍♀️ it’s a funhouse experience being around them, and it took me ages to realise it was gaslighting, deflection and projection at play.

I very rarely come across people who are so convinced of their own opinion being fact and their worth being unquestionable in comparison to others. Most people aren’t that rigid and vocal when triggered, it’s like they externalise blame for being triggered onto the sources of their shame induced emotions.