I used to be 'tucute' and i hate it

So when i first came out 4 years ago i was freshly 15 (i have known i am ftm since i was 11 and before that had stereotypical transsexual childhood etc) i used to be cringe 'gender breaker' trans man. I had dyed purple (?!) hair and wore jewelery for one year, i came to my senses and started to dress how i used to before i came out because right after i came out i felt that i needed to prove to other 'queer and trans' people that i belong with them.

I regret all of that, i am now trying to be stealth and pass whenever i can. I am still Pre-T but in process of starting medical transition (which i dreamed of even before i knew what trans meant) and it is finally starting to feel like home. I dont understand people who dont have dysphoria and dress the way i used to. I had dysphoria the whole time i dressed more 'queer and trans' because i still looked at best as queer woman not as gay man, who i am. I am still feminine because i am gay but i am told that now i am more of normal/cis gay twink than those tucutes.

My question is, does this make me any less of trans man? My 'trendish' not even full year phase, i genuinely feel ashamed for 15 year old me.