Can't relate to "transgender" people

To me it just seems like they're not dysphoric at all, I've cried myself to sleep over my dysphoria wishing I could've just been born cis, I dress my age, I wear a face mask because I'm not comfortable with people seeing my mustache shadow and don't wanna be seen as a man, I practice makeup for when my electrolysis is done and whenever I can stand seeing myself in the mirror.

I pretty much do everything I can to just blend in and just look like a normal girl, meanwhile it seems like all the trans people around me (I don't know if they're really trans or not) don't even try, I'm working on my mannerisms so I don't come off as manly to other people around me but I just don't get why they seem so comfortable looking like and acting like their birth sex and I just can't relate at all. I wish my parents and my brother weren't like super far left because it makes it difficult to express how I feel especially when it comes to how I feel about this.

I get not everyone is fortunate to pass but at least making the effort is important.