I go back tomorrow and keep having nightmares/panick attacks
I am a 2nd grade public school teacher in South Carolina. While I am a part of a teachers union, it is not recognized by my district and the union only helps with legal matters.
I know my situation is different then a lot of teachers on here.
My school is incredibly toxic and, I hate to use this word but don't have a better one, traumatizing.
There is a lot of drama and abuse of power going on.
Unfortunately for me, I'm not a favorite and have to deal with it a lot more than some other teachers.
I already have an exit plan for the end of this school year.
But right now, I just never want to go back to that school. I want to hide or disappear so I never have to face those people again.
I go an email telling us the schedule for the PD tomorrow and I felt like I was dying. The pit in my stomach grew and I thought I couldn't breathe.
I don't want to go back. I really don't. I wish I could just close my eyes and never even remember the crap that happened to me at this school, but that's not realistic.
I need the insurance. More than anything else, that's why I'm still there.
For anyone feeling like I am, remember you are not alone in that feeling.
Any advice from people in similar situations or who have been through something similar would be great.