How do you come to fully accept it?

For me, it was a fall. When I was twelve I was climbing a tree in my front yard that I had climbed dozens upon dozens of times, but suddenly my foot slipped and I fell about 8-10ft before hitting the back of my head on the ground. The impact made this flash of bright white light that I distinctly remember.

I laid there for a minute then went inside like nothing had happened, cause it really FELT like nothing was wrong. I didn’t tell anyone I fell (which in retrospect could’ve gotten me treatment much earlier). About a year later I’m at a chiropractor just for the heck of it with my mom as we were tagging along with some family friends and as I’m being assessed the doctor asked if I’ve been in a car accident as he feels scar tissue in my neck. That’s when I come clean about the fall.

Since then my mental health has been a wreck. I constantly struggle with anxiety, depression, and distressing OCD induced intrusive thoughts. I’ve always been neurodivergent, but my symptoms have been amplified since. I also developed tics and chronic pain. I’m a young, going on twenty college student, and it feels like my life is already over. I’ve had to give up on so many things I enjoy over the years because my brain and body betray me. Medication has been a disaster, and no therapist seems to be able to help me.

I just can’t seem to accept that this is how I have to live. Maybe if I was able to receive some form of treatment that was actually effective I would feel differently, but nothing has helped. It’s so difficult to be content with your life then having that ripped from you due to something out of your control. I don’t know how to make my peace with it if I’m still suffering daily. I don’t know what advice people have but I’ll take any of it at this point.