Validation and Body feels

Ok this seems silly but I was thinking about it today and wanted to share. I’ve lost 90lbs since my highest weight of 442 in July 2023. I’ve lost 50 of those this year. I feel like it’s slow and I know I have a long way to go but it is what it is right now. Mentally I see the number 90 and I’m like wow that’s a big number, but I’m also like yeah but you also were so heavy. It’s still more than I’ve ever managed to lose in my life. But because of deep body dysmorphia I don’t see it.

Ok so, my lovely friends are the type of people who don’t talk about weight loss or bodies. Which is great I get it, I think it’s rude to comment on other people’s bodies too. BUT I also want to be seen. I want some kind of external validation that I look different and I look healthier (I was also super sick the last 3 1/2 years). I look at photos from 2yrs ago and I think I look different but no else says anything which I get. I guess I just feel the same and like the 200lbs I still have to lose are so vast. I know I’m doing this for me and my health and longevity and also so I fit better in clothes and can be more active and sit wherever I want without worrying. But I also want my loved ones to say we see you and how hard you work and you look good. I think I’m feeling like this cause I also hate the way my body looks and the way it looks in clothes. I have such a weird shape and buying pants is still depressing. My partner says it’s hard for them to notice cause they see me every day. I just wanted to express these feelings somewhere cause I feel like there’s no one I can talk to about them. Maybe someone can relate.