I decided

I finally decided I'll end it. I actually feel free right now, not a shred of sorrow or dread. I didn't choose to be born, I didn't choose my genes nor my childhood environment, nor the country I was born in. But I have this inner freedom to reject my life. What is life even? I'm sick and tired of people being like "every life is precious". I don't think of my life as precious. I'm struggling to exist through every waking moment. The content of my life is pure suffering. Isn't it more humane to just let me use the freedom I have to reject the life I was given without a choice in the matter? If I'm suffering, isn't it better for me to just end it? I honestly stopped caring that it will hurt my family and friends. If they wish me happiness they would support my decision. It's not nice to live in a state of depression for years. I'm twenty five now, and it started when I was seventeen. It never let me go, and it never will. I'm aware of that. I just want eternal peace. Rest.