If I had a gun I would be dead already

I have no friends, have never even been close to having a romantic relationship, and I've just been sitting in silence in my dorm for the past 6 months. I don't feel like this will ever change, and I don't know how other people have so much fun while I think of alternative ways of killing myself. It's not like using this time helps my studies, I still stress about every class. It's extremely hard to think of myself as somebody who will ever have normal friendships or get married, especially when I'm supposed to be having the time of my life rn