day 2

m i went from a daily weed smoker with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol to today being my second step toward sobriety. after 2 years and 3 suicide attempts i decided to take the big step to fix my life. at the moment i still vape and part of me feels like that doesnt make me being sober valid. i dont know. im new to all of this and i have nobody in my life that understands what im going through or how bad things got. I want to quit nicotine too but im scared at how that will effect my ptsd. i just. i dont know what to do. where to go from here. advice?